The importance of self-compassion in mental health recovery

The importance of self-compassion in mental health recovery

Life is full of ups and downs. More than often our mental health suffers due to this inevitable fact. But as the famous saying goes, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. “Lemonade” in this context can manifest in various ways. One powerful and often overlooked form of “lemonade” is self-compassion.

Self-compassion is not an abstract concept, as many would think. It is a lifeline you throw yourself when life hands you “lemons.”

What is Self-Compassion?

Imagine a warm hug from a dear friend when you’re feeling down. That’s self-compassion. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer to someone you care about. Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes or shortcomings, self-compassion invites you to say, “Hey, it’s okay. We all stumble sometimes.”

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading expert in self-compassion, emphasizes that it’s not about making excuses or being self-indulgent. It’s recognizing that you’re doing your best with what you know and have.

Why Does Self-Compassion Matter?

Self-compassion has numerous psychological benefits. Let’s explore a few:

1. It Helps Calm the Storm Within
   Being kind to yourself when experiencing an influx of negative and intrusive emotions helps calm your nervous system. When you are kind to yourself, your body releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with trust and safety. Being harsh to yourself will activate fight or flight responses. This will have an opposite effect to the desired one. Be kind to yourself and watch the storm subside.
2. Boosting Self-Esteem
   Most of the time, people seek external validation to feel good about themselves. Self-compassion involves looking inwards for validation. Having positive thoughts about yourself will fuel your self-compassion and change your perspective about yourself. This will boost your self-esteem and make you more confident about your decisions.
3. Resilience and Personal Growth
   Being kind to yourself will help you cope with psychological distress in a more positive way. It will help you embrace your imperfections. You will not be afraid to fail because you know it’s part of the journey. Dr. Neff’s research shows that self-compassionate folks are less anxious, less stressed, and more optimistic about the future.
4. Breaking Free from Your Inner Critic
   While fair self-criticism is important for growth, it can be destructive when done in excess. Constant self-criticism is a silent thief of joy. Self-compassion challenges the inner critic and helps us be more graceful to ourselves. It helps us adopt the “I stumbled, but I’m learning and growing” narrative.

How to Practice Self-Compassion

Struggling with self-compassion is normal. The following strategies will help you be more compassionate to yourself:

• Journaling – Note down your struggles, concerns, fears, and moments of grace on a piece of paper.
• Positive Self-Talk – Beware of your inner critic. Always remember to be gentle with yourself. Replace harsh criticism with positive thoughts and remind yourself that you are doing your best.
• Self-Compassion Meditation – Meditating is the best way to train your mind to be kind to itself. It might be challenging at first, but over time, you’ll get the hang of it.
• Challenge Your Inner Critic – Always question the source of negative thoughts about yourself. Is it valid or helpful, or is it fear or anxiety talking?
• Seek Professional Help – A good therapist will help you cultivate self-compassion into a habit. Support & Growth’s therapists are highly qualified and committed to helping you navigate any mental struggles you may have.
• Rather than harshly judging or criticizing yourself for perceived flaws or shortcomings, self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding when faced with imperfections. After all, whoever said you had to be perfect?
• While striving for positive changes that promote health and happiness is valuable, this should stem from a place of self-care, not from feeling unworthy or unacceptable. Most importantly, self-compassion means embracing your humanity. Life will not always unfold as planned—you will face setbacks, experience losses, make mistakes, and fall short of your ideals. These challenges are a shared aspect of being human. The more you accept and navigate this reality, rather than resisting it, the more you can cultivate compassion for yourself and others as we all navigate life’s journey.

Reach out to us to get started on your self-compassion journey.